Kidnapping Freaks, Nutjobs, and Crazies
by Eternal Grey
Summary: sequal to Babysitting Freaks, nutjobs, and crazies. Gaara and Sakura are married with an adopted kid, Shino the leader of Sakura's fanclub, hanging out with Sasuke who owns a gay bar, and series of kidnappings by random people. Drabble fun. GaaSaku
1. Chapter 1

_**The end to the one before this… is lost forever but this chapter should inform you about what happened!**_

**So sorry for how long it's taken me to post this thing! I've been grounded and whenever I get my computer I've been busy filling out requests and birthday stuff… but enough excuses! Onto the amazingness of the sequel!**

**Sakura Pov**

I blinked in surprise when I woke up and saw who was in bed between Gaara and me. We were alone when we fell asleep last night… he rolled over and wrapped his arms around my waist making Gaara glare.

"He's our son! We have to let him do what he wants for now if he needs comfort!" I growled angrily.

"It's _Shino_! Who cares? You just had to adopt him!" Gaara shouted making a big fuss while our adopted son's eyes began to water. Yes, the man who started the Sakura fanclub is now my son. I don't know exactly how it happened but on the wedding day he was given to us as a gift. Gaara wanted to burn him to death but I was able to convince him otherwise.

"It's better to adopt children than to have them… a whole lot less painful and no extra fat!" I grinned making my husband roll his eyes as he grabbed our son and tossed him out of the bed.

"Mom… I wanted to spend some more time with you." Shino complained acting like a ten year old. We both ignored him completely when the feel of the Egyptian cotton got a hold of us. "Child neglect." Shino growled as we began to cuddle.

We've been living together in a large house in Konoha for a while now. Six months here and then six months in the Sand village, but for some reason our friends have made bets about how long it'll take us to accidently leave Shino at one place or the other.

"I don't smell sex." Said a voice in relief as a group entered our bedroom. I sat up groggily and tried my best not to kill whoever was attempting to keep us awake on this fine Sunday morning. Ino, Kiba, Temari, Shikamaru, Neji, and Naruto stood before us looking a little scared but excited at the same time.

Before we could do anything I was being kidnapped by my supposed friends. Gaara reached out his hand for me but we both saw the Egyptian cotton attempt to take hold of him for a little while longer. Soon he was back to being asleep while I was being shoved into a black bag.

This would never have happened if I wasn't mostly asleep. Then again… I tend to treat my friends worse than this on a regular basis so I can almost forgive them but torture is fun. When I was taken out of the bag I found myself in hell.

A beauty parlor was in from of me with clothe shops all around with stores for shoes and make-up stores. "If we can get you in make-up and a fashionable outfit we get a hundred bucks." Temari informed me with a smirk.

"From who?" I demanded angrily.

"The owner of the gay bar… Sasuke." Ino answered. I gasped aloud wondering what that could mean. Sasuke, Naruto, and I are great friends… why would they do this to me?

**Gaara Pov**

I was not okay when Shino threw me out of bed. The anime playing on our television was Hare and Guu while the posters on our walls were a mix of all the romantic comedy anime we knew. Other rooms have different themes. I sat up and glared at our stupid adopted son wanting to murder him. He just scowled at me.

"How long are you going to sleep there while your wife stays with those lunatic friends of hers?" He growled. I blinked at him for a moment then remembered her getting kidnapped and thrown into a bag a while ago…

"Huh… I guess I do need to go save her then." I muttered curiously and thought about the honor I kept losing to her before in the prequel to this story. I have to regain my honor! Rushing forward I started to leave then looked down.

"I did not know you were like that when I crawled into bed." Shino said looking away while I struggled to find clothes. I tossed some on as quickly as possible and rushed out the door to go find her. How come I get dragged into the weirdest situations like this? Oh yeah, it's because all of this drama has to do with Sakura somehow.

When I got outside I could hear screaming somewhere. I ran in that direction shoving past people to get to the person who had screamed. I stopped before I could walk into a section that was practically puking pink girly crap. Sakura is in there somewhere…

I took a step forward and felt a shiver go down my spine finally I just shook my head and headed out to find Sasuke. He can go in there unscathed and maybe even come out with Sakura and a purple outfit for him to wear at his gay bar. No one in our group was all that surprised to find out he was gay.

I'm pretty sure I figured it out when he tried to flirt with Sakura while wearing black spandex…. He's a creeper. It's official. When I got to the gay bar I saw Haku passing out fliers outside. I knew for a matter of fact that he was straight since he had the hots for Sakura. The girly man was getting quite a crowd of gay boys to come after him with his beautiful girl features. I shoved past the he-she and walked in finding Sasuke immediately. The club won't be open for a couple more hours.

He looked bored out of his mind while staring at his phone as though willing it to ring. When he saw me his eyes widened in guilt and fear then he instantly shoved his phone into his pocket and smiled innocently at me.

"Hey there Gaara, what do you need?" he asked quickly. I realized instantly that he wants me gone… what's he got to do with the plan to kidnap Sakura? Crap he's kidnapping her for something or other.

**Sakura's Pov**

How am I doing? Huh… I think I'm going insane. My face has got to weigh ten to twenty pounds and these clothes bug the crap out of me. I glared at whoever was in front of me as the haze wore off. "Wow I didn't think you'd faint over it." Naruto said looking at me curiously.

I blinked at him for a moment then laughed nervously while I stared in the mirror in front of me. I looked beautiful sure, my face seemed perfect and pretty like a little doll. I've never seen my skin glow or even seen my body without a smudge of dirt or a scab visible.

The white dress I was wearing seemed more like a nightgown then anything. Pure white and clung to every curve but went down to my ankles. White flats for shoes were okay enough for me not to trip attempting to wear.

I blushed scarlet when I noticed that Neji, Naruto, and Shikamaru could have seen them change me… "We didn't see anything." Shika-shake said making me look up at him with my puppy eyes wanting to go home. I miss my apartment. It was so much easier when I was living by myself.

"Let me go now." I grumbled but already I was being taken somewhere new. I hadn't realized we were outside until just now. The sky seemed to be getting dark letting me know that Sasuke's club has probably opened by now.

I blinked in surprise when we walked into the club. "I must be much drunker then I thought I was…" I sighed softly and rubbed my eyes. Before I knew it I was shoved against a beautiful woman with long black hair and dark eyes.

"Have fun you two!" Haku shouted from the crowd. I stared at the girl in front of me as we began to dance to the sweet melody around us. I'm not used to dancing with girls, let alone strangers so it look me a moment to gather my footing and let myself relax. The song 'My World' by SR-71 was playing in the background letting me think of Gaara.

I glanced in the stands and saw my pouting husband sitting next to Haku. "Go get her Sasuke!" Naruto screamed making me stop dancing. I squinted at the girl before me and looked at her chest. I had felt it well enough with the woman pressing her breasts against mine. I blinked once then twice.

"Cross dressing?" I asked curiously making the woman smirk before placing a finger to her lips.

"I had an amazing dream last night! You and me dancing at the club! Two girls though to spice it up for the men! Not many lesbians drop by so I figured I'd do some girl on girl entertainment but none of the other girls are convincing like you and no one can compliment your hair… So I put myself with you instead." He explained.

**Gaara Pov**

Am I good person? I just let my wife dance with someone she thought was a girl but turned out to be a cross dressing gay man. I guess I'm not too terrible. I could have let her dance with… Naruto? Well I guess that's the only other person she would freak out about dancing with. Sasuke was wearing an amazing gothic laced dress though.

It made him look more than a lesbian girl… it made the emo freak look like an S&M fan. Not like I'm okay with that sort of thing. I can't really imagine Sakura and I getting into that stuff. I mean the only daring thing we've done is actually doing it and that was only once.

"You are _so_ sexy…" Sakura purred making me glance up with a glare on my face already. She was getting into it… oh no. I hate it when she does this! It's a simple way to get business! Don't complicate it! Just dance with him for a couple more songs and then go! It's that simple! Don't turn this into a gay fest please!

Sakura apparently couldn't get my psychic messages and was already sliding her lips down his neck. She whispered something against him making the guy blush crimson. I stood up immediately but Haku, Neji, Temari, and Ino pulled me back.

"Go Sakura!" Hinata shouted happily as Kiba whooped beside her. Several cat calls were being shouted at the couple on stage. I knew Sasuke loved the attention his business was getting but I also knew he was scared about how far Sakura was taking it while she fingered his dress.

"I've got to stop her before she does something stupid. I know that look too well…" I grumbled angrily and shoved past them all. Sakura rarely ever gets into a mood where she needs to get someone back for something they've done but whenever she does you need to stay clear. This is one of those moments. If I had to guess I think that she was planning on exposing Sasuke for being a guy.

I picked her up from behind and began carrying her away from the stage. She growled and pouted before finally allowing me to do as I wish. I laughed at her stubborn and angry expression but that's when I took the time to look at her. She looks beautiful. None of her flaws are visible through the make-up and she actually looks like a girl. It's amazing!

"I like you better natural." I informed her without looking at my wife. She nodded slowly.

"Me too." I watched her slowly begin to pass out then laughed lightly before opening the door to our large house. When I got to our bedroom I tossed her on the bed and began to play Avatar season one. She smirked at me. This is the way we do things. Hang out, be together, get kidnapped, do something outrageous, and then go home to watch anime.

"Child Abuse!" Shino shouted slamming the door to his room. We continued to ignore our adopted kid.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sakura Pov**

"I don't like bunnies." I muttered angrily when Shino bowed down in front of me. Gaara nodded from beside me making me smile softly. Of course he'd be brilliant enough to agree with me. Shino is a freak of a child. I don't know why we bothered to adopt him. All this nonsense about bunnies...

"I just want a pet!" Shino growled we looked at him for a moment then decided he would probably set his spiders on the bunny. It would be a waste of time and money plus the bunny would only be one heck of a meal.

"Son, you are enough of a freak as it is**. **All these bugs are creeping out the neighbors." Gaara growled. I looked at the two for a moment then turned to my confused son.

"Bunnies are odd. What's up with their twitching noses and why do they need their eyesight to be so good with all those carrots?" I asked making both my boys look at me oddly for a moment.

"Just ignore your mother, Shino." Gaara sighed turning away. He still doesn't accept Shino as his kid but when push comes to shove... he loves the idea of making fun of me and him with this. Punishments are also a great way for him to get rid of all his built up stress.

"Do you really want to say that, Gaara? Or do you want me to introduce you to yet another anime?" I asked him with a daring expression. He turned around to look at me with a bewildered look on his features. I smiled at this and knew for a matter of fact that I have won this competition.

"Yeah, yeah... child abuse I get it." Shino growled and turned around to leave. We watched him go for a moment then turned on our Wii to get to netflix and watch the new anime series I found. The Best Student Council... is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever seen.

"Okay... so what is this?" Gaara asked once he saw the puppet. I ignored him completely and watched with wide childlike eyes. Who cares if my husband doesn't appreciate my taste in anime? Well he does but I guess not for this one.

"Keep watching!" I growled out not willing to let him ruin my fun. We sat there together for a moment longer then turned off the television. A scream was echoing from the room next door. We ran out of our bedroom into our _child's_ room.

Shino was pressed against the wall with a face as white as a sheet. He looked at us with a look of horror... "The bunnies..." He whispered then fainted on the spot.

"I told you." I growled at my stupid husband. He just glared.

**Gaara Pov**

I understand that sometimes the world is placed into chaos and my wife is right. This is one of those times. I waited for a moment then left the room. "I'm going out for a while." I sighed and left the house. I need to give Sakura some space before she decides that this is the perfect opportunity to take over the world.

I mean, just realizing that she's right should do the trick. I scowled then ran into a girl. She wasn't just any girl... Long red hair and red eyes. Obviously working for Sound but who cares? I may be married but I'm not a liar. This girl is hot sure but not enough to where I'd risk my life for her. There's just no way.

"Hey there, Gaara." She grinned making me blink in surprise then nod. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she'd know my name. A lot of people do since I'm the Kazekage of the Sand. Normal and a bit strange. I like my job just not the random people I don't know who know my name. That's just scary and wrong.

"Who are you?" I asked harshly wanting to get past her quick. The sooner I buy chocolate and a rose for Sakura the longer I don't have to deal with her ranting. Plus, I get to seem like the perfect husband. It's an added bonus.

"I'm Tayuya. I used to work for Orochimaru until he died and now I'm free... free to like you of course." She smirked and then all went black... aw crap. Fangirl.

I woke up in pure darkness wondering what had happened to me. I'm not used to the world turning black after seeing a pretty girl. I was tied up letting me know I've been kidnapped yet again. I'm so done with all this stupid kidnapping. Can't an assassin or the enemy do it at some point? The only people who ever kidnap us are fans or friends. Both of which are dangerous. Especially Sakura's.

Considering the leader was able to infiltrate our house...

"Hello Gaara..." A sweet voice whispered from within the room. I paled thinking of what Sakura will probably do to me. Somehow this is always my fault. I don't know why.

"Go away please and let me wait for my wife to show up." I muttered and closed my eyes wanting to sleep until she gets here. This may be the only moment of peace I'll get for the next couple of months knowing our lives. I could feel Tayuya's glares. I could care less. Sakura is scarier then some deranged kidnapper.

"No! You're mine!" The woman shouted making me sigh then start to think about the anime Sakura introduced me to. Some insane puppet with an idiot. Kind of original unless you take away the puppet. Every anime seems to have an idiot these days... ow... what did she do... now?

**Sakura Pov**

I turned to the annoyed Shino. "My Gaara senses are tingling. I think he's been kidnapped." I grinned and ran forward.

"Why do you seem so happy about this?" Shino asked with a sigh. I turned and smiled at him.

"It's because I get to destroy his manliness once more!" I shouted happily and then left the house. The streets were dark and deserted making me become ecstatic with anticipation. That's when I realized something scary. Gaara's fangirls aren't outside the house. Even if he isn't inside someone is always waiting for him to come home... what happened?

I rushed forward through the streets listening to the sound of nothing since everyone else was inside having a cozy night at home. I miss my husband... weren't we going to finish this anime together? I glared and ran faster hurrying. We need to finish this anime before we lose our adrenaline for it and wind up having to force ourselves to watch it!

I noticed an abandoned warehouse outside of town making me sigh. It can't be this predictable can it? I can imagine the kidnapper could be this stupid if only because she thought that she's strong enough to take me. I knew it was a she because of the I 3 Gaara posters outside. Okay so this is the most obvious place to look for him.

I entered the building listening to some girl talk in a threateningly soft voice. "Just let me go home before she beats you up and drags me there." My husband sighed from the room next door. I walked over and saw them both locked up in a cage. Sure it looked like she had the key but it was still pretty stupid. Even with Gaara bound up to a chair, it's not like it'll stop him all that much. He's a tough fella.

I rushed in and walked up to the cage. Gaara spotted me and bent forward biting the keys at her waist before falling to the ground with his chair in front of me. I bent down and took the keys then unlocked them both.

"Okay so you are bordering stupid when it comes to kidnapping freaks." I said with a casual smirk.

"Shut up and fight me if you're going to talk all tough." The redhead growled making me rush forward and punch her. She barely blocked it but the hit still connected and hurt. I could tell by the tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to ruin that pretty little face." I smiled and got ready to hit her again. The girl's eyes widened then she ran to the back of the cage.

"Take him and go." She sighed in defeat making me smirk at her pathetic features.

"You're lucky we're late for a very important date." I grinned then untied my husband and helped him up off the floor.

**Gaara Pov**

"Why didn't they realize the puppet was alive?" I asked feeling dumbfounded. She smiled at that and kissed my cheek before getting ready to fall asleep. I couldn't blame her after all her fighting and bunny talks today.

"Because the puppet is awesome like that. Alright what should we do next?" She asked looking bored. I looked at her for a moment and desperatly tried to come up with something to keep her entertained. When Sakura's bored the world just ends. There's no delay, no momentary lapse... it just blows.

I don't want the world to end just yet.

"How about we go visit Neji? Naruto's gotta be driving him insane by now. I mean, a year with not even a single date?" I asked hoping she'd listen. Okay... so my voice was kind of sore because of how many words I used in that single sentence... but hey, I'm trying to save the world.

"Okay! Then maybe we can play match maker!" Sakura cheered making me look at her like she was insaner. I haven't given her this look for a while. I don't know if I should be impressed or disappointed.

"No. You and I playing match maker? Can we even stick around that long instead of being kidnapped?" I asked her angrily knowing full well this is all true. We are ALWAYS getting kidnapped and we're never in danger of anything more than rabid fans or derranged people of the same gender.

"How about _we _kidnap _them_?" She asked. I rolled my eyes then thought about it. Our house is big enough to where we could hide them in some abandoned room for a while. Each one in a different room. They have that string thing that hangs down from the ceiling with the single light bulb like on interragation shows.

It _could_ work.

"Let's give it a couple days." I sighed trying to dissuade her while I can. If I wasn't a laid back kazekage with a stupid son and an incredibly insane wife then this would probably work. Shino walked into our room with a large grin on his face. I knew then that the stupid brat is going to go against me.

"I knew I would get you to help me out!" My wife shouted happily.

Crap.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sakura Pov**

My poor innocent husband lacks vision. If he would open his eyes to all the possibilities of kidnapping others before they kidnap us… well then he would be tied up and strapped to a chair now would he? I watched the Shino check to make sure all of his bindings were put on right as he just glared at me.

"This is one of the best reasons for a divorce." My husband informed me icily. I smiled at him and kissed the boy on top of the head while we waited in the glass isolation room for Naruto and Hinata to wake up. Shino was happy from head to toe even though he had a blank look with his glasses covering his eyes.

"Once they wake up it will be time to continue with the plan! Man am I having fun playing matchmaker?" I cried in disbelief. I didn't think I would be into such a girly thing.

"Yes well you are a genius when it comes to this stuff." Shino said taking my hand. I smiled at him but Gaara just snorted.

"Don't encourage her. You'll only get caught in her games for much longer than you could imagine." Gaara sighed from personal experience. I glared at him for a moment then sighed and shrugged.

"Well as long as I'm having fun then its fine." I said with a smile and a brush off wave. Instantly we noticed the soon to be lovely couple.

"Where am I?" Hinata asked softly as she got up.

"How'd I get here?" Naruto screamed backing up against the wall. I smiled at the two of them then clicked on the microphone so I could speak to them.

"Hello Hinata and Naruto. We are here today to make you both happy." I said in a super cheerful voice. Shino smirked but Gaara just rolled his eyes. He's such a party pooper. I turned off the mike then turned to the boys. "Tell me when they start getting all chummy with each other." I smiled then left the basement and went into the main part of the house before heading outside.

I need to come up with something to make people fall in love. I took out my cell phone and called Ino, if only I remembered how Gaara and I hooked up… I doubt he remembers either. It was kind of a… oh hey we've been dating for how long now without realizing it.

"Hey there forehead." Ino said happily on the other line.

"Hey Ino, how do you make people fall in love?" I asked her impatiently. The sooner I find out the better.

"Why? Aren't you and Gaara the happiest couple of the year?" She questioned making my eyebrow twitch remembering his attitude earlier.

"Yeah but he's tied up and in an annoying mood. So tell me already please." I grumbled no longer happy. I want this to work the best I can.

"Alright fine… here's how you do it."

**Gaara Pov**

It seems like I've been tied up much more than normal. I mean, in the past year alone I've been kidnapped several times by people who don't want to kill me, and I've fallen in love with a psycho. I think Konoha is a live in mental institution.

"Untie me please." I sighed at my stupid adopted son. I have no idea where Sakura went but this is ridicules. She's never tied me up before. I have to admit though… she was nice to me. I saw firsthand how she handled Hinata and Naruto. I guess this is love…

Crap.

I guess I can manage for as long as possible without dying. I don't think a divorce is optional at this point. If it were… I probably wouldn't do anything anyway. Sakura and I are good together. It's hard to admit sometimes but it's great to have a girl who can handle her own.

"Okay people I got the best way to do it! Has there been any progress?" She asked us suddenly running down the stairs with her phone closed in her hand. Aw crap… she's been talking to people again… probably Ino with the way Sakura is acting.

"They have been talking softly and both are currently blushing." Shino informed her like the loyal dog he is. I glared at him but said nothing knowing Sakura will get bored of this soon. Hopefully.

"Alright good. Now to bring in the cooties." She said with a grin and pressed a button on the pad. Instantly little hearts started to fall from the ceiling on them, and romantic music played. If this is her idea of romance then Sakura is more insane then I suspected.

"How about we just set them up on a blind date?" I asked. Shino and Sakura looked at me with blank expressions. I glared at them both for being the idiots they are. Stupid retards don't know what romance is and how to hook other people up…

If only she remember how we hooked up. That was stupid but it could work. Just have Hinata move in with Neji and see if they wind up liking each other. She's just a retard. I shouldn't help my wife with any of her stupid schemes. It'll just give me a head ache.

"Alright so their reaction to this is… confusion and deeper blushes." Shino informed her making my wife smirk then say something I thought she was sane enough never to say.

"Bring in the life or death situation in hopes of creating a moment of true love or imminent death." She smiled cruelly letting me know that my girlfriend is psychopathic. If Ino gave her these tips… then she's one of the assistants of this murder.

I summoned my sand and untied myself. Once I was out I walked up to the board and released the prisoners. Hinata and Naruto… well we're just lucky we chose the weaklings of Konoha to hook up instead of someone who could kill us.

**Sakura Pov**

For about ten seconds I was seriously angry at Gaara for ruining my fun but then… well Hinata and Naruto left the house holding hands with her head on his shoulder. The ultimate goal was accomplished and I got to have some fun.

"I hate you." I informed Gaara then turned around and began to walk away. Instantly he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back and he took something out of his pocket. Okay so two tickets to Toy Story 3 will make up for anything.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked. Most guys buy presents only whenever they get in trouble, but Gaara couldn't have known so… he was just going to get these for me as a nice surprise. I have the best husband ever!

"Yes you are." I grinned and kissed him before running to get ready. The movie starts in an hour but it'll take twenty minutes for him to choose what kind of 'life killing toxic junk' he's going to have during the movie. _I_ typically pick coke slushie, skittles, popcorn, and coke. I'm easy and fattening like that.

When we got to the theatre Gaara finally chose some sour skittles and a coke zero. We ranted about how it has zero of everything but the ingredients are just weird. I think it's even more than regular coke if possible. When we got into the movie I grinned at all the kids and lack of adults. More minions! Before I could invite them into my clan Gaara shoved me into the nearest seat making me get up and drag him to the middle.

If I'm going to watch the double sequel to one of my favorite childhood movies… well then I need to do it right. The movie was awesome! I laughed, I held Gaara's hand, I hid my face in his chest, and then at the end I was crying.

Gaara didn't understand why I was crying.

"Shut up and leave me alone in my misery!" I cried and tried my best to stop the tears. I've thrown out so many of my toys! The only one I have left is a cross between a stuffed dog or monkey. I can never let him go now!

Gaara looked down at me as though I was the most embarrassing thing he'd ever laid his eyes on. Men… they just don't get it… and if they do I don't want to know him. My husband was kind enough to toss a few napkins my way and keep watch for me while I dried my eyes.

"You are such an idiot." He sighed then patted my head, and began to run his fingers through my hair. I glared up at him and blew my nose. "You're never going to let go of Jack now are you?" He asked making me nod and begin to cry again. Poor little stuffed animal Jack! My uncles ex-girlfriend made him for me.

"I can't let him go!" I shouted just as a worker told us to get out.

**Gaara Pov**

I wonder if informing Sakura of her waterworks at the theatre could get me out of trouble… probably not. It is probably the first and last time I will ever see her cry. The movie was good and all but not cry worthy. Everyone goes to college one day and gets rid of old toys.

I doubt any toys come to life whenever we leave the room.

"Out of all the Toy Story Characters you probably relate best to Cid don't you?" She asked me with a sneer. Cid being a toy bully in the first movie.

"Nah. I did much worse to real people not toys." I informed her creating even more water works in our house. Okay so her crying this much is just pathetic unless… "Have you started this month?" I asked curiously.

"Shut up!" She shouted and buried her face in the pillows of the couch. Okay so that explains it. Not that I wanted to know about something that gross… oh well. At least now I know why she's acting like an emotional baby.

A sudden knock on the door made me wary but I opened the door anyway. I heard Sakura squeal behind me, making me realize she probably didn't want anyone to see her in this weakened state. To my horror Ino and Hinata were crying on the front porch. They ran inside and hugged her doing a whole cry fest on my poor leather couch.

"You saw the movie too?" Sakura asked making the two girls nod. Okay since when did Toy Story become a huge event? I mean sure every kid in the world now owns a toy from Toy Story and has been watching it lately… but seriously?

"Ignore the cruel man with no emotions!" Sakura shouted pointing at me with one arm wrapped around a pillow that was covering her face.

"Alright I'll leave you cry babies to your tears while I go upstairs and watch Fooly Cooly." I said and began to walk upstairs. In five seconds she will rush up here and watch it with me. Actually I got it wrong. It was less than three.

Okay so I am probably the best husband in the entire world. I bought my wife tickets to a movie where I was able to get everything you can get without sex in a movie theatre; I helped her hook up Hinata and Naruto without too much illegal action, and I stopped her tears in the promise of pointless anime.

"It's only six episodes right?" She cried laying on our bed while staring at the television ready for me to set it all up for her. Stupid brat…

"Yeah. After this I found some creepy anime called La Portrait de Petite Cossette. It's only three episodes but the episodes are a lot longer than normal episodes." I informed her with a smile.

I like this so much better than her pranks…


	4. Chapter 4

**Sakura Pov**

Life is hard when you're young boy is having love issues. We keep telling him it's not polite to kiss your mother on the lips and try to snag your tongue in there. Gaara is about to ground him and get his machine gun out. I bought him one for his birthday. I think he really likes it too.

Shino looked up at me with a pout as he pointed to some lingerie in my underwear drawer. I smacked the back of his head making my husband rush into the room with his gun… he really loves it right now. "What did he do this time?" He demanded. For a moment I really wanted to protect him. Shino is just going through a difficult time right now trying to understand his very complicated feelings.

Screw acting motherly, I'm bored so I informed Gaara about our perverse son's newest request. I watched in pleasure as he dragged the man out of my room with the gun pressed against his back.

I wanted to kick back and have a laughing day so I turned on School Rumble. Sometimes the drama is too stupidly funny for me to laugh, but I may just be into that today. After three episodes Gaara came in looking exhausted, when he saw what I was watching a small smile appeared on his lips and he laid down with me on the bed.

Holding hands while snickering at an anime… this is life. It's our life and it makes me happy, only sometimes though. Other times I want to do something drastic and dangerous, wondering of course if I can get away with it. One day I egged Gaara's office windows. His building is pretty damn high but I was able to do it.

I felt very accomplished.

Sadly I'm _still_ under house arrest for my crimes against my very agitated husband. I flipped over so I was lying on my back and continued to watch the show from a new perspective. He glanced over at me but said nothing. I know what that means… whenever he says nothing at all that means he's found something new for us to play with and obsess over.

"Tell me the name now before I have to embarrass you in front of your people again." I said simply with a curiosity in my voice. He glared at me then growled to himself as he took out two of a manga I'd never seen before… well it does look familiar but I'm don't know much about it.

"It's called Pandora Hearts. I read the first two mangas and its good." He informed me looking a bit annoyed as I stole it away from him. This will last me around two hours if I take it slow. I may need to until he finally lets me leave our place. I have a feeling he did all this that way I won't get into too much trouble.

"I want this anime." I informed him darkly.

**Gaara Pov**

It really isn't all that wrong for me to lock Sakura up at home. If I unleashed her onto the world then I'd be a bad Kazekage. Why am I in Konoha all the time anyway? I know we have this arrangement for her and all but it's not like we even visit the people she knows here. She always stays inside, enjoying the nice and cool house rather than going outside to enjoy her home. The only times she seems to go out now is when she's plotting some stupid scheme again.

I looked down at my wife as she cuddled with the manga. If she starts calling it 'her precious' I'm taking away all her Lord of The Rings movies. That and maybe Star Wars. She needs to do some… girl stuff. Sakura is a grown woman and acts like an immature child, and she doesn't even understand the consequences of her actions! Everyone keeps taking care of her!

I wouldn't… leave Sakura though. Not even if she's a conniving little bitch who likes to cause trouble when she's bored. There's just no way I can leave her. I walked out of the room for a moment and called Ino. "Hello there Sakura!" She cheered making me sigh.

"No Ino, this is Gaara." I said softly shaking my head at how embarrassing this conversation is going to be. "Do you know how to give Sakura some girl time when she's under house arrest? I mean, is there anything you can do at the house that's girlish?" I asked feeling pathetic. Give me a hole and let me die… but this is of course after I kill the stupid adopted kid I got.

Shino is probably still in his room sulking. If he's calling the rest of his stupid club I'm going to ground him from his phone. My fan girls aren't this bad. I still can't believe we got stuck with this stupid brat! I forced myself to calm down when I realized that Ino has been talking to me this whole time.

"I'm sorry something was distracting me, what were you saying?" I asked slowly feeling the exhaustion. The happy pause in speaking made me a bit nervous but I said nothing.

"You need to get out of the house tonight, it'll be a girls night at Sakura's place!" She spazzed making my eyes widen.

"Where am I supposed to stay?" I demanded angrily wanting to know where she got off ordering me around like this.

"I don't really care, and I don't think you should either. Sakura needs this right? Better have an intervention now then deal with the villages around this place being destroyed by her boredom." Ino pointed out. Sometimes she makes sense and whenever that happens I get mad.

"I'll see if the guys will hang out with me for a night." I grumbled knowing that no matter what happens, I'm NEVER going into Sasuke's bar ever again.

Stupid fag.

**Sakura Pov**

I had just finished the amazing manga that Gaara had given me when Ino and Hinata walked in. This seemed a bit odd, especially when Temari jogged in from a little farther behind. I stared at the three girls suspiciously, not understanding why they would come here today of all days, then again I guess this week really since I still have three more days of my house arrest. Unless Gaara forces me to stay in longer, man I hope not, if so then he's sleeping on the couch.

"Hey Sakura!" Ino grinned and hugged me while Temari nodded with a smirk. Hinata blushed lightly and dipped her head. It seemed normal enough but that only made me even more suspicious.

"We wanted to see how you're doing, seems boring." Temari informed me as she looked around the bedroom. I sighed and nodded letting my mangas drop off the side of the bed. Instantly Ino and Temari grabbed hold of one arm each and dragged me up.

"I've wanted to force a make-over on you for a long time… luckily your husband is giving us the perfect opportunity." Ino laughed maniacally.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan… but I want to see you all spiffed up and pretty too." Hinata said softly while I struggled. Since I haven't been out and about lately my body is tired from doing nothing, that's not good when I'm currently being kidnapped within my own home.

I was dragged downstairs to the basement and watched in horror as they strapped me to a wooden chair. A cloth went over my mouth and I smelled the gas immediately. My eyes were wide as my friends just smiled innocently at me. I'm going to kill Gaara…

I woke up with a face that felt heavy, and a big poufy blue dress. I looked down at it in annoyance and almost tore it off when I saw that I was currently laying down in a room of mirrors. How did Ino know I have this room?

My eyes softened when I saw the way I look right now. My face looks more tame and pretty with the simple make-up. It helped to show off my good features and went over my bad, the eyes were outlined and lips deepened. Hinata must have done my face. Temari had to have done the complicated bun that made up my hair. This was also done very well and kept me completely speechless. Ino's fashion sense got me a dress that complimented my body and my extreme colors of pink, green, and cream.

"I hate you all." I said darkly and stood up to look at myself more clearly, this just made the picture a little better. A door slid open allowing me to rush out of the room into the hallway. Right when I was about to start searching for my _supposed_ friends I saw my husband looking at me in shock from the doorway.

**Gaara Pov**

I was about to leave to go hang out with Shikamaru, Kankuro, Naruto, and Kiba when I saw Sakura in the hallway looking angry. I was stunned and unable to speak, she looked even more beautiful than our wedding day. Thinking of that day I began to narrow my eyes thinking about how Shino had kidnapped her that day and ruined something that really shouldn't have been ruined.

Sakura was frozen in place staring at me, a blush slid across her face as she turned around and started to leave. "Sakura." I said holding out my hand as though to stop her. I rarely get to see the baffled, shy, and innocent part of her, but whenever I do I want to make it last a long time.

"Look at what my silly friends have done to me." She said in a choked voice. I watched her glare at the wall looking a bit ashamed. She must have seen something today she wasn't ready to see. I guess maybe she realized that she looks like a beautiful angel in the mirror but inside she's a rampaging thunderstorm.

Lucky for me, I love thunder and the storms that come with them.

"I don't think you should be angry right now." I informed her with a smirk and shook my head. Why is she going through all the trouble to make it seem like she hates this appearance? Sakura turned to me and smirked with a defiant expression I've gotten incredibly used to over the last two years.

"You're right. Angry is a bit too soft. Enraged is much better. They couldn't have gone far. Make sure to set up the security when you go out tonight and tell the officers not to let _anyone _leave tonight. I'm going to have my revenge." She smiled and began to laugh evilly. Her laughter rang off the walls and made the whole house shiver in fear.

I know this is off topic, but is she even curious as to where I'm going so late at night? Suddenly she turned to me and blinked curiously. "Where are you going, anyway?" I guess she is just a bit curious.

"Out with a few friends, me and the guys are going to train for a while and maybe do something after." I said not really having a clue what guys do when they hang out together. She paused and seemed to think about this for a moment. In a sudden panic I wanted her to ask me to stay and help, what if… my friends turn out to be like hers? I don't think I could survive a night like this if I was in her position. Well I know I wouldn't be Kazekage in the morning.

"That sounds good. While you're out making sure people think you're still normal I'll take care of the pests, its better if you don't limit me anyway. I hate how everyone lets Hinata get away with stuff just because she's sweet and innocent."

I made no comment and just left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sakura Pov**

My _supposed_ friends got their punishments and it helped me feel much more relaxed than I have in days. I mean, making Hinata so upset and getting her to tell you all her deepest secrets with one little threat… it's just beautiful. Pure beauty and prettiness only come from a skilled leader during torture and cruelty. I'll admit that I may be good enough to do just that to someone. I kissed the dark haired girl on the cheek and looked at the blond.

"You have to admit you look pretty." She mustered but fought against the ropes. I got a supplier that can make ropes I can _almost_ not get out of, but of course I'll need to be able to so that if someone uses it against me I won't be completely useless. The blond was sweating more than I'd ever seen. Ino's always been the type to brush it off before anyone notices. I've seen it but never the sweat.

"Sure. Of course I do. That doesn't change anything though." I said softly looking her over with quiet readiness. If she struggles much more I may have to add more ropes. I always find that that helps best in these situations. The three girls looked worn out and had a few bruises. I'm not going to be too hard on them since my husband is Kazekage but I will do what is necessary to sustain order.

"What did Gaara say?" Temari asked making me pause for an instant. He didn't say anything. Nothing at all. That bastard! I got all dressed up and look all pretty but he didn't say a thing to make me feel beautiful or even like a girl! Instead it was just like all the other days. I glared at the ground and thought about this for a little longer.

"You guys shouldn't be getting this punishment right now." I murmured and could feel the prickle of excitement filling the air. Everyone here is being punished for kidnapping me and putting me through all the torture but the one person who was supposed to like the results and do _something_ did nothing at all in this situation. I guess I made a slight error and now I need to correct it.

I pressed a button instantly releasing my prisoners. Hinata was rushed over to immediately, I was hard on the girl of course since I have no pity in my heart for the weak and the needy. Turning around I decided I need to head out tonight and keep my appearance _fresh_.

"Where are you going?" Ino called sounding a bit worried. She knows that I never stop in the middle of torture. I turned around and smiled at her for a moment then let the smile turn into my devilish smirk.

"Someone else deserves my punishment right now. Thank Temari, she's the one who spared you all the torture." I said in a blow off way then wondering where the boys are.

**Gaara Pov**

I could feel the air around me shift as though some sort of evil was slowly approaching us. Sasuke decided to show up so I guess that could be what's going on with all this foreboding. Sakura should be occupied all night with her three new torture victims. Surprisingly I've gotten used to the idea of a wife who gets rid of the people who do her wrong and tortures the rest whenever she's bored. If I didn't get used to it she would probably have run off with Hidan or some other Akatsuki member.

I don't want that to happen.

"What a drag." Shikamaru sighed when Kakuro was stuck in place. It's hard to beat the shadow jutsu with puppets. I smiled at that for a moment then took a couple steps back when Naruto made a whole ton of his clones appear. Sighing I quickly sent up sand from the ground to poke holes in them all getting rid of his _amazing_ jutsu.

"Isn't that your wife?" He asked pointing over my shoulder. That's when I could sense the air being filled with electricity and rage deeper than hell filled the area around us. Everyone shivered looking at her slow approach toward where we are. "What did you do?"

I blinked hard and tried to think, I couldn't imagine anything I'd done to make her this angry, I could practically feel her footsteps. What the crap could I have done to make the woman I love want to kill me? I could have done a lot now that I think about it but I didn't do any of that! Wait…

"Do women get upset when they wear a dress and look special but you don't say anything?" I asked curiously. The looks I got just made my eyes widen and mouth go dry. What the crap am I supposed to do now? I already messed up. That's obvious with her heading toward us. I didn't know!

"Her anger about those three probably added with the anger about me not saying anything. She did some torture for them first, that's the only thing that explains her taking this long especially when I told her we'd be training." I muttered making the guys look at me like I was nuts. I looked between them all waiting for the explanation. I'm not good at acting normal so I like pointers when I fail.

"Normally people would be running about now." Sasuke informed me making the others nod. I blinked slowly then mused about that. It's probably smart because of her strength and how powerful she can be, plus in heels and that dress? There's no way… wait. I should probably just start running instead of analyzing everything.

I sighed and waved at everyone then ran for my life in the direction of Suna. Before I knew it she was running too. Shino can take care of himself, even without any food in the house and me turning off the water.

**Sakura Pov**

If he's running then that means he knows why I'm coming after him. This is good. It means that he understands the reason why I'm here and why I want to kill him, this just makes thing much more fun and then hopefully you can use the word funner because it should be a word. I grinned and kept chasing after him wondering vaguely why the guys didn't try to stop me. That's when I realized they're the kids I grew up with. Strangers are the only people who get in my way now-in-days but that's ignoring my best friends.

"Why didn't you say something!" I cried catching up to him. We were almost outside of Suna now making me wonder quickly whether this is the fastest amount of time It's taken me to get here or the second because I'm sure I've gone faster but not _for_ sure.

"I was too busy thinking it!" He shouted back. I blinked hard but just ran faster wanting to catch up to him. Soon my husband began to cheat by using sand to help escape. I make sure there is no sand or anything like that in my torture chambers. In fact I only have plastic down there with some other stuff too.

It's pretty much just full of stuff.

"Then tell me what you thought!" I screamed trying to make sure he could hear me as we went around Suna. They're beginning to get used to this so I'm not worried about public opinions at this point. If I was then it's stupid of me to get married to the Kazekage.

"You looked good!" He growled suddenly stopping to face me. I could tell he was angry but it wasn't the normal angry. Normal angry for Gaara is killing everyone in sight then trying to solve the problem from there. This angry is the angry he reserves for me. It's the one where he looks incredibly pissed off but has some logic still inside him ready to hear my reasoning.

"Thank you." I said softly and looked down at my slightly dirty dress. I thought it would be ruined for sure but I guess I'm just lucky or something. He looked down at me for a moment then I stuck my tongue out at him and turned around to run back home. I have to go pretty fast otherwise I'm going to be late to work.

I seem to be getting used to barely or no sleep. I smiled to myself and wondered why he didn't just say something before. Being with Gaara is the only time I feel like an actual girl. All other times I feel like someone who will be ruling the world shortly so there is nothing to worry about, nothing at all with me at the wheel.

Gaara sped past me using his sand making me glare. "Cheater!" I cried feeling like a loser. I need some cool jutsus like that.

**Gaara Pov**

Surprisingly things always feel better when your wife isn't chasing you down trying to kill you for not saying something. I sat down at my office inside our house and started to go through paperwork feeling like _this_ is the weird thing to do. I mean, egging houses, kidnapping people, and stealing bunnies seem completely normal right now. Maybe this is what she meant when Sakura told me to act normal around my friends and others.

That's probably why the insane asylum hasn't taken her in yet.

Plus they would never be able to force her anywhere she didn't want to go. I've learned this from several experiences I do not wish to repeat anytime soon if ever. Shino will need to be grounded since the website about my wife has been updated. Every time the website gets something new on it I ground the man for a week. I was going to do year but Sakura said that's not normal.

A twenty something year old adopted son is not normal either. Not when you just adopted him not even a year ago. I sighed and looked down at my desk noticing a bunny sitting on top of some of my papers. People like to laugh when I say my wife brings bunnies for me to have in the office, they think I'm making an odd joke or something. I'm not. I think it's because she has some secret scheme to do with them.

Something that will probably take over the world.

"What's your master plan for taking over the world?" I asked as I poked it with a pencil knowing that a pen would stain the fur. If I did that then Sakura would kill me as I'm sure everyone in her life knows already. These threats she makes are nothing to be trifled with. Do as she says or become whatever bait it is that weak. I think this week is bunnies. That would explain the fact that she keeps putting them in my office.

"I'm going to devour all carrots making the human race go blind." The bunny informed me. I stared at it for a moment longer then opened my gourd.

"Sand coffin." I said simply and closed my hand into a fist. Bunny blood spilled all over the office with a lovely SPLAT making the door open and a triumphant Sakura run in. She looked incredibly happy but also psychopathic.

"I KNEW BUNNIES ARE EVIL! I just wasn't sure so I wanted to make sure you heard them too!" She grinned making me look at the dead bunny on my desk. I must be going insane. If we both heard him say something like that then I have much more issues then I thought I did. Sighing I turned to Sakura but it was too late. She was making a list called 'Evil things of this World' and put bunnies at the top of it.

"We need to kill all bunnies. Anya would be proud." She grinned making me wonder if this is real or if we've been watching too much Buffy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so I wrote the entire chapter right? It was romantic, funny, and incredibly sweet…. Then WHAM accidently deleted it. For my sanity's sake this chapter will NOT be a continuation of last chapter. If you want to know what happened pm me and I will summarize it. If not then screw it. **

**Sakura Pov**

You have to love mistakes. It's probably the most beautiful thing in the entire world, if you don't count my sexy husband who decided to make this carefully planned mistake. No comments on how it's not really a mistake if it's planned because it really was a simple mistake that would make our son run around the entire town looking for something that doesn't exist.

"What are we going to do now?" Gaara asked looking at me from his spot on the bed. I took in his exposed chest and the muscles that were there then smirked and held up some DVDs.

"I got a new anime for us, Soul Eater!" I grinned feeling my face light up with impossible amounts of joy and happiness. Gaara just looked at me blankly then motioned for me to turn it on. I nodded happily and began my work.

"So we're finally watching a guy's anime?" He asked blankly making me nod. We never get to sit down and watch an anime anymore without Shino annoying us throughout it. Today is the perfect day to introduce it to him.

"We ALWAYS watch guy's animes. It's only you who thinks we're watching girly ones because the guy animes always have chicks with large breasts as main characters." I explained in an annoyed tone and puffed out chest. I'm a bit annoyed though… the girls he finds hot in these animes are nothing like me. They look and act nothing like the woman he married. Does that mean something's wrong with me?

Maybe… I'm not completely sure.

"Are you upset because your breasts are small?" Gaara asked with a blank face making me punch him as hard as I could. Storming off I left him to watch Soul Eater wanting to forget the fact that it has a perverted cat girl in it.

When I got outside I tried to calm myself down but it just didn't work… why am I letting this affect me again? Growling I took out my marshmallow gun and walked out into the streets. I might as well scare the civilians as much as I can before going back home.

**Gaara Pov**

I probably insulted her. At first this meant nothing to me and I continued to watch the episode, but before I really got anywhere I could hear screaming outside. Glancing out the window I saw Sakura holding what appeared to be a gun shooting what looked like bullets but whenever they hit the victims it turned white and bounced onto the ground. Marshmallow gun.

"Stupid people." I laughed and tried to forget about her obvious anger. I know I said something completely and totally stupid but I still like to think that she'll forgive me and go on with her life like she should. I smiled to myself and laughed aloud at the idiocy of the show. I can understand why she wanted to have me watch this. It's pretty good… like a better version of _Naruto_.

Yes, my best friend made an action show about himself where he's the main character. Every once in a while one of us come in and we have to act out whatever script he wrote, it helps because it makes it so that the show has other main characters too… I just hate how we have to relive Sakura's infatuation with Sasuke again. Damn it.

"Hey Dad, the thing mom asked for doesn't exist." Shino called from the doorway. I looked over at him then reached down for my machine gun. By the time I had it ready to start shooting my _son _had run off. Glaring I sat back and tried to think of anything but my insane wife who's out to destroy the world. After a while you get used to it, not enough to where it's okay though.

"Gaara?" A voice asked making me slide underneath the covers. I'm NOT scared of my wife. That's just ridiculous, the reason I'm hiding underneath the covers is because I'm cold and it's not HIDING it's just… escaping the cold shivers that are currently running down my spine. "I'm not going to hurt you… I just want to give you a _big_ hug!"

LIES! Sakura never gives big hugs! She just straddles you and never offers and single sign of love for as long as I can remember. Closing my eyes I prayed she wouldn't look in the room… sure enough the door creaked open. Crap.

**Sakura Pov**

It's all his fault and that's okay because in the end I'm the perfect one and he's just so full of flaws. I'll fix this little redhead and put him back in his place. That should be easy and a ton of fun! Suddenly Shino walked in looking annoyed. "You people haven't fed me in three days." He growled holding a cup of water in his hands. We both stared at him for a moment then shrugged it off and began to watch Soul Eater one again. He's the one who chose us to be his parents. We don't really care what happens to him.

"I feel like killing off your beetle collection." Gaara said in a musing tone making our son's eyes widen before he turned around and ran to his room. "I'll boil them one day and serve those beetles to him for breakfast." He smirked looking incredibly happy with this thought. I stared at my husband for a moment.

"No... more like a snack, and then I'll make him a butterfly smoothie." I nodded and began to smile wondering if he'll cry. This is incredibly cruel of us but I doubt either of us care, he's a cool kid to have around since he makes life more interesting but if he was suddenly gone I doubt we'd notice or care... except we'd have a ton of bugs that we'd need to start bombing. That would be cruel of him if he winds up leaving us with all of those disgusting creatures. I shivered just thinking about it.

"I love torturing our son. I'm glad you made me keep him." Gaara said with a soft smile. He began to pat his machine gun affectionately as I just turned to the show. I like having him around as well.

But is this going to be our life from now on?

**Gaara Pov**

My punishment from my wife turned out to be that I was only allowed to wear boxers all week long, fangirls tried to kill me, no one took me seriously, and I was constantly laughed at. Sometimes I wish I could strangle her but even if I did then there'd be more to pay for. Coming home from a long day of work I saw Shino kissing Sakura. At first I wanted to shoot him but then I saw Shino take off his shirt and work on hers.

"Goodbye Shino." I said simply allowing my sand to form waves all around me. Suddenly Shino dropped my wife to the ground allowing me to see she was unconscious throughout the entire thing. For once... I get the role of being a man. Running around the mansion, crying, Shino was working me up to his death. While I waited for my sand to track him I walked up to my precious Sakura just as the door opened behind me.

"Oh hey Gaara! I didn't know you were getting home so early." Sakura's voice said from behind me. I turned and blinked hard.

"What the hell?" I asked then stared at the Sakura puppet on the ground.

"Did you make that? It's a pretty accurate description of me except I'm much prettier." My wife said with a shrug and stepped over it to head upstairs.

"Honey... why does our son have an incredibly accurate puppet that looks just like you?" I asked her feeling the urge to kill come on again. She shrugged then led me upstairs to his room. We quickly found a shrine of Sakura and a closet full of plushies of her in different poses with different outfits. "We're burning them." I informed her darkly but was able to steal one of her in my clothing. It looked hot plus you can take off the clothing. Even if I have the real thing... it'd be fun to have something to play with when she's not around.

"Hand it over." Sakura said simply holding out her hand. Sighing I handed her the plushie. She looked it over and I watched her eyes widen with interest. "Good taste but this burns as well."


	7. Chapter 7

**Aw it's so sad… I updated like crazy this weekend but I didn't get to get to this one. So here it is the weekend after my splurge. It turns out that if you write the next chapter to your fanfics in between rps… you can update a lot without getting that annoying feeling that this is boring. **

**Sakura Pov**

Sometimes I get the feeling that bunnies are going to take over the world.

No seriously… if you allowed bunnies to do what they will without messing with them… they could over populate the world and eat all of our carrots developing incredibly good eyesight. Eventually human kind would go blind and the bunnies would be able to take over easily with blind humans as their slaves. Eventually, of course, they would turn to monkeys or something since humans are too blind to really do anything.

"You look like you're having weird thoughts again." Gaara stated from his desk inside the sand dome known as his office. I blinked in mild surprise then nodded with a grin. (cuing sudden theme song with images of funny scenes from season one and season two of Babysitting/Kidnapping freaks, nutjobs, and crazies!)

Today I'm stuck being babysat in his office since apparently Suna can't handle another Sakura invasion. This request was asked kindly from Temari and Kankuro. They even said we can just watch anime all day as long as I don't leave this building. Granted I did bring my paint gun and there is a rather large window allowing me to see the town square that's oh so full of people.

"Bad girl… don't think of terrorizing the villagers." Gaara said simply while continuing to work on his stupid papers. I pouted and looked down at my poor neglected paint gun.

"But I haven't used it in two weeks!" I whined hugging it to me tightly. He looked up then and sent me a dark glare. They don't really affect me because I'm his wife but they are still scary, especially when he's trying to work that way he can then have a Soul Eater marathon with me. It doesn't help that I won't let him read this new manga I got, Venus Versus Virus, until after he's done… oh and I bought Soul Eater the manga too. It helps that I still get paid to babysit him when it's actually the other way around.

"Then don't use it for two more weeks!" He shouted making me (it was a sudden reaction, I swear!) lift up my paint gun and hit him in the chest where his heart should be. Ironically enough the paint ball was red. As he glared at me there was a stunned silence. I set down the paint gun slowly and began to look as innocent as possible when his siblings entered, almost immediately.

"What happened?" Temari cried seeing the _blood_ on her brother's chest. He just continued to glare at me while I tried to look anywhere but at him.

**Gaara Pov**

I'll admit, there are some moments I wish to divorce my wife.

She shot me with her paintball gun! I have _every_ right! But I won't. I _could_ strangle her to death and destroy the evidence with my sand while continuing to go through my work so I can watch my anime and read my manga… but I won't.

I doubt anyone would blame me and I bet there'd even be a parade the day she died while some people, I can probably count them on less than one hand, will actually cry but even then some of them are crying with happiness.

She's well known. I mean, who _hasn't_ heard of the horrors of Sakura Haruno in either Suna or Konoha? Even the Akatsuki will probably want to take her up soon… the only problem with that is who her husband is. I'm actually surprised they haven't taken her yet, I mean you'd think they'd snatch up potential like her as soon as they heard… unless-

I couldn't help but laugh. My siblings and Sakura stared at me in mild interest as I burst out laughing. I couldn't stop and soon Sakura was checking my body to make sure I was okay. "The Akatsuki are probably even scared of you!" I laughed out and soon I couldn't breathe. Temari walked over and smacked me upside the head before turning to my wife.

"If you decide to kill him there will probably be a parade or something. Most likely both Konoha and Suna will allow you to get away with it. Doubt anyone will be crying and if they are it's in relief." She said with a shrug and began to head out. Sakura laughed then.

"I know! I was just thinking the same thing!" She cried and held onto her stomach as some giggles escaped her lips. I glared at her and my siblings then returned back to my work. Sometimes I hate my life. "Shino's still at home right?" Sakura asked making me glance over.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. We took all of our money right?" I responded making her nod and then her eyes widened and she began laughing. I watched her for a moment and then smirked. "We didn't leave any food in the house for him did we?" I asked and watched her red face nod. Soon we were both laughing maniacally hoping that that poor kid dies of starvation rather than survive and see us again sometime soon.

"I think we may be evil parents." Sakura informed me with a serious nod. I looked her over then glanced at my paperwork.

"I think we could be worse." I answered making thoughts of torturing him appear throughout my brain desiring to make that stupid bug boy wish he'd never been born. I smirked evilly then looked down at my paperwork. Just one more page to go before I can do whatever the hell I want, instantly I sighed in agitation.

**Sakrua Pov**

"You're finally done, right?" I asked with a grin. My husband nodded slowly still looking it over but sure enough three seconds later he was sitting next to me ready to watch the show.

"Play it." He ordered allowing me to start the next episode of Soul Eater. With how busy we are it's taking us _forever_ to finish it. "Is that a guy… and is he wearing a nun's dress?" Gaara asked with wide eyes, soon this was made amends for since they started to fight. Sitting up close to the television I held his hand tightly falling in love with the show.

"Sakura! We need you at the hospital! This little girl is going to die otherwise!" Someone shouted from the hallway. I glanced over then shrugged.

"I'm watching Soul Eater!" I cried back making my husband glare at me before pausing the show. I glared at him then ran out to the hospital ignoring how familiar the message bringer looks. I need to get this over with fast so I can go back to watching my show! (Does something bad always happen whenever they watch anime?)

When I got outside a bag went over my head and a shot was placed into my back. Falling forward I was soon fast asleep in someone's small frail arms. Waking up I could see nothing but it didn't take long for me to realize I was locked up in a cage. I glared at the area around me and tried to think of a means to escape, just as the door opened.

"Are you sure she's secure?" A woman's voice asked making a young girl whimper.

"I think so but you know she's illuded us before." The nervous girl responded sounding unsure.

"Yes but this is _different _she's a guest in our house. We're attempting to convince her to leave our precious Gaara... not killing her and keeping her here forever, but if it comes to that then we will." The voice stated with a short laugh.

Suddenly a bright light turned on. I blinked hard several times while my eyes tried to adjust. That's when someone took hold of my chin and forced me to look up at them. With a gasp I stared at an incredibly familiar girl. She just smirked and threw me backwards causing me to hit my head hard on the metal. I tried to stay awake but I needed to focus on healing myself and I can't do that... without being able to concentrate.

Closing my eyes I prayed that Gaara would be able to find me soon.

**_Gaara_**

I looked at the wrapped present in my hands and smirked to myself. Sakura will love this! I walked to the hospital and searched her office but she wasn't there. "She hasn't been here all day." Her annoyed secretary grumbled making me nod slowly before visiting the Hokage. On the way I noticed Naruto filming his show in the middle of the street at the ramen shop. I watched it go on for a moment then continued up to where the Hokage normally is.

"Hey Tsunade... you seen Sakura?" I asked noticing her drinking once again. She glared at me letting me see the marshmellow shapped holes in her windows and how her floor was littered with glass and the squishy white puff balls. Backing away I quickly left the room. Okay so I checked the two places she tends to work at so... Sasuke's place?

No way in hell.

I walked over to Neji's house and knocked on the door. He answered quickly enough and glared at me like it appears everyone's been doing today. Next time I'll just have her tell me where the hell she's going because this is getting ridiculous. "She's not here and neither is Hinata... I think she's out with Naruto again." The man grumbled looking more depressed than pissed off.

I nodded slowly and headed out. Naruto and Hinata are together? There's no way Sakura hooked the two of them up and I doubt she'd really care seeing the two out on a date, but non-the-less I was still heading in the direction of his show. I'm assuming that there's some fluff otherwise Neji shouldn't care.

Soon I saw Shino talking to some fanboys looking annoyed. It was more like pissed actually. I took a detour and headed over to him. "What's up kid?" I asked wanting to make him angrier. When he shoved me against the wall I glared. Calling him a kid did not call for him to get violent. He NEVER gets violent with me.

"Sakura's been kidnapped." Shino hissed. I dropped the present in my hands and cursed.

Dammit.

Why the hell does this always happen to us? If it's not me it's her, if it's not us then it's them. It's an endless cycle that will never stop as long as we're together and I thought I could handle it. Yea I was that stupid but now I know the truth... I'm just tired of all this fucking shit that keeps happening to us and it's all her fault!

No... it's not her fault. It's the people around us. Dammit!

I can't protect her like this!

But maybe that's what she wants...

Maybe she never wanted me to protect her.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't know what's wrong with this fic but I can't sit and write it all at once. I have to leave it a lot and do other things and then I can work on it... it kind of bites.**

**Sakura Pov**

I looked at the ground and tried not to look up at her. Matsuri... Gaara's first apprentice is the leader of his fangirls. I _knew_ I never liked her! She just smirked and then tossed me to the ground harshly causing my eyes to widen in shock. I looked at the ground and tried to hide my discuss when my face was against a painting of Gaara's face. Why would someone put that on the ground?

Instantly I began to laugh.

What if someone stepped on his face!

"What are you laughing at?" Matsuri demanded looking a little humiliated and angry. I looked at her dark eyes and brown hair then laughed louder. She's not even his type! He likes exotics like myself not someone as plain and ugly like herself! The laughter just kept rolling off of me. Soon I had to bite my lip to stop it since I was beginning to become unable to breathe.

"Sorry it's just... you're really pathetic, you know that right?" I asked and began to laugh even harder than ever before. She kicked me in the gut making me stop and lean forward feeling the life give out of me. It's... not like I haven't been kicked before, it's just that I've never _not_ been able to kick back.

"You need to learn to keep your mouth shut or we'll kill you before the second in command gets here." She growled making me look up at her in minor surprise but I didn't say anything about it. Might as well let her think I'm too stupid to consider her words and possibly use them to my advantage but hey whatever right? This might be good. I'll finally be giving Gaara the opportunity to rescue me.

"Sure. I'll learn how to shut up. How do you do that again?" I asked softly in a slightly out of breath voice. She just kicked me again and left the room to cool off for a while making me smirk. It's best to get her pissed off wthin twenty second intervals that way you don't do it too many times and wind up dead but you don't do it too little either and make it so that she never leaves you alone.

Taking a deep breath I then helped myself get back up to where I at least was no longer on the floor. That's when I focused on healing my injuries and boosting up my strength. If I don't then what the hell is Gaara going to see when he rescues me? A woman needs to look pretty for these sorts of things.

**Gaara Pov**

It was hard. Not beating my son to death was hard but half to death wasn't all that bad so I stuck with that while I tried to come up with a plan for my poor Sakura. Granted she could probably take care of herself if I let her but if I do that she might ground me, kill me, or worse yet... she may divorce me. That would be a bitch but hey... I love her anyway. She's the apple of my eye and the girl who makes sure the people I don't like don't mess with me. This is, sadly enough, excluding fangirls.

My eyes widened slightly. "They couldn't have..." I whispered softly then went onto my fangirls website. Yes... they are stupid enough to put the fact that they stole my wife on the front page with pictures and videos of her getting beaten up. I winced at the moves the blurry figure used on my wife. Huh... they kind of look like moves Matsuri would use. I don't think I'll be able to look at her the same for a while. Oh well.

I assembled a small army of fanboys and then led them to my fangirls headquarters. It wasn't that far away and there are two locations. One is in Konoha while the other is in Suna, and I guess that makes perfect sense although it's a little creepy and a tad bit stalkerish. It doesn't really matter to me though since I get to compete with Sasuke and Naruto over how many Fangirls I have. They still can't compare even though I am slightly jealous of the fact that Sasuke has fanboys too. Then again that is to be expected since his name is practically Sasgay. But hey whatever... I can deal with the fact that I'm straight and no guys like me.

When we got inside I was surprised to hear loud bursts of laughter from down the hall. I had the fanboys check the rooms, armed with marshmellow guns, while I ran ahead to see what's up with my wife. When I got inside Matsuri, Kankuro, and Lee were there looking confused and humiliated while Sakura laughed while pointing at the three of them. Looking at the ground I was slightly disturbed to see pictures of me in chibi form with different emotions on my face all over the floor.

"So what's going on here?" I asked a bit pale and nautious from the sick habits of my fangirls when I noticed lipstick marks. Sakura glanced over at me and flashed one of her heartbreaking smiles.

"Kankuro and Lee are the second in command here. Which means they are right below the president in your fanclub." She informed me... completely destroying my world.

**Sakura Pov**

The look on his face was priceless. The pale complexion, wide eyes, and the way his body seemed to tighten with the undeniable feeling of nausia... this is what I live for. I continued to laugh and then stopped breathing when Gaara began to shoot at them with several hundred marshmellows. Yes, my husband came to my rescue with a marshmellow machine gun.

My face began to turn red while I struggled to breathe with the hilarious events happening all around me. I mean, I always knew that Kankuro loved his brother _way_ too much! Lee was obvious during the chuunin exams and... and Mitsuri's always been a creeper so she's just ugh no matter where you put her but oh my gosh... this is just too perfect! It's like an episode of Baccano! I just can't contain my laughter! But apparently I can because it's not coming out it's just staying in.

He untied me with tightly pressed lips and then dragged me out of the room while the three lay unconscious on the ground. Okay it's kind of sad when you fight off kidnappers with a marshmellow machine gun but it's even worse when they get knocked out by it... wow I think I'm in love with my life! "I can't believe I thought about it before I walked into this place... I thought about it and got a little jealous and now I'm just sick. I can't... I can't be happy about this. If it was anyone else then maybe but not them... not my brother and ugly brows." Gaara muttered looking even paler than before.

I began to giggle as he continued to lead me out of there. "Wow and I wonder why they wanted to kidnap me." I said softly and then shrugged. "It'd be kind of creepy if Temari was someone like that in my own fangroup." I murmured and watched him turn to me slowly with a look of pure horror on his features.

"No... no way in hell. Don't wish for that kind of stuff!" He shouted and then ran me home with him before locking the doors. I stared at him and then slowly led the poor traumatized boy to his room and set him up with his favorite show before laying down beside him. Holding each other's hand I felt relaxed and slowly began to fall asleep, unable to stay awake with all the excitement from the day.

When I woke up Gaara was eating popcorn, chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, skittles, chocolate, snickers, gummy worms, sour gummy worms, sour skittles, berry skittles, crazy cores, and twix. I stared at all the food and then reach over to grab some but to my shock and outrage he slapped my hand away like a girl. I glared at him then jumped up watching as he held back tears while watching Vampire Diaries.

"If you're going to do something like this then at least act like a man and punch me! Don't just slap my hand away!" I shouted, completely enraged.

**Gaara Pov**

I stared at my wife and then looked down at all my food and such. I'm the one in pain here. My brother is gay for me! He's so gay for me that he's second in command of my fanclub with some ugly guy I almost killed a few years ago! My apprentice is even the leader! I don't know what's going on right now and so I need some comfort food but does Sakura understand? No! She was just kidnapped and beaten up a little! She even found it all to be quite hilarious when in actual reality it really wasn't! She's a bitch and I hate her!

"No... I'm not going to. I'm going through a difficult time right now which means I get to do whatever the hell I want." I growled while narrowing my eyes at her. She just reached over and grabbed a twix causing my eyes to widen... and then she ate it. She just ate my twix like it was no big deal and didn't matter at all. Standing up I glared at her then barged out of the room and slammed the door behind me.

"I WANT A DIVORCE!" I shouted and then headed downstairs toward the foyer. That's when she opened the door to our room and looked at me with a curious tilt to her head.

"What did you say?" Sakura asked lightly causing me to yell out in frustration before walking out of the house to enjoy myself somewhere where such an insane woman is not staying. This didn't work though because she wound up following me. No matter how hard I tried to lose her she would always show up and smile at me with that innocent look of hers before hugging me tightly to her.

"I love you." She whispered softly.

"I love you too." I hissed back. It made her laugh and for some reason that sound still made me just a bit happy. She may frustrate me and make me get all pissed off sometimes but others I wind up completely and totally fall in love. It's stupid and it can completely destroy my manly honor but hey whatever right? It's not like I'll tell her. I mean, she's the cutest thing since kittens but the most dangerous thing since tigers.

She took my hand and led me back inside and then we both shared the amazing sweets that'll kill us, and then had fun watching anime. She curled up into me acting like an actual girl as she giggled and stuffed her face. I smirked but made sure she kept away from my sour skittles, practically protecting them with my manhood.

This is our life together.


	9. Chapter 9

**By the way I have a Deviantart account in case you want to check up on me. My journals will have news on my fanfics in case you're interested. You can look up Santa Made A Mistake This Year and the first story you see will have been done by me. My username is Whatamitoyou**

**Sakura Pov**

I walked into the room and did my best not to laugh at him. Gaara was currently staring at the television like he was about to die if he didn't find out what happened next, and oddly enough it was a chick anime. Sometimes I'm convinced that my husband is obsessed with tv. I think I'm wrong though. He's just obsessed with the wonderful world of anime.

He was almost drooling which is just sad. Although Toradora is pretty amazing, it's not _that_ good. Although I am a bit interested in how it's going to end. "Hurry up Sakura!" Gaara growled angrily. It made me nod with a slow smile knowing I love my easily addicted husband, even if he is a total and complete freak!

"You are _so_ weird." I informed the man while relaxing back onto the bed. Shino was curled up in between us and was soon leaning against me with a soft smile on his face. I tried to scoot away but soon I was on the edge of the bed with him still pressed tightly against me. "Honey… should we get an abortion?" I asked Gaara making him glance over at us and glare.

"It's not called an abortion if he's not in your stomach. We'll just kill him." He smirked then took out his machine gun, in a matter of seconds Shino was out of my room and running towards his own. We're not the best parents in the world but we do try… when our kid is not trying to get too close to his mother.

"What are we going to do today?" I asked as the Japanese Christmas song started to play. That's when I glanced over at the calendar and my eyes widened. I didn't know that that gift giving holiday is coming up so soon! Crap! I haven't gotten him anything yet! Just when he started to open his mouth to answer me I placed my hand over it and began to cling to anything I possibly could in order to hide what I'm doing. "You know what? Sorry! I already have plans! I'm just- well… _you_ _know… _kidnapping people like usual." I informed him quickly.

His eyes widened slightly before he smirked with a nod and began to turn back to the show. "Can we at least finish the anime before you have to go?" He asked me without glancing over once. I agreed and hid my sigh of relief knowing it wouldn't do any good to give him hints to the fact that I just lied to him. This Christmas is going to be good! I'm going to make sure I can get him everything he wants! Anything he wants!

The only problem is that I don't know what he wants…

Looking over at him a soft smile covered my lips knowing that he's the perfect guy for me. He understands and does anything I tell him too plus he knows I've been kidnapped if I didn't pause my anime.

I just need to know what he wants.

**Gaara Pov**

As soon as she said she has plans I almost sighed in relief. I've been waiting for a day when I can finally go out and buy her a present but she keeps on having us spend the day together! That's fun and all but it doesn't give me much preparation time for before the holidays. I found myself going through a list of things I can't let her get access too while trying to think of legal and safe things to buy her… is that even possible? There's nothing like that I can buy that she'd actually want!

When the anime series ended we both got ready quickly while refusing to look at the other much. I know she's the kind of girl that would be fine with almost anything but at the same time I know she wants something nice. Sakura is the kind of girl that if you don't get the right thing for her or say the right thing in response to what she gave you… well you'll be chained to a chair being tortured for a month if you make a little mistake.

"Alright well I'm heading out." She called making me nod slowly while putting on some shoes. She was out the door in a flash and I could pretty much hear the screams already. That's when I realized that I don't even know who she's kidnapping this time. I smirked to myself knowing I don't even want to know. If it's Lee or Kankuro then it's fine, go ahead bitch because I don't care about them!

My poor misguided brother… He needs help and Temari agrees so at the moment he's in a psychiatric ward and dealing with all the counselors and the missionaries since it appears as though he might even be possessed… well hopefully by the end of this I won't cry when people ask if he's my brother! That'd be a great improvement.

When I was dressed and ready I headed over to the closest shop and to my utter horror I knew I most likely can't buy her anything in a gun parlor. Walking over to the next store I was a little annoyed to find out that it's a shop for gothic teenagers who want the latest _dead _styles. This probably wouldn't be the best place to go. The next store was a bit… healthier. The people who worked there were pale and a bit scary but not as bad as the last store.

They sold torture equipment.

I couldn't help it but I went through the store looking at each item while trying my best not to buy her anything. Sure she'd love it all and probably never get mad at me again but at the same time I knew that this stuff would get her arrested.

Dammit.

**Sakura Pov**

I walked into Anime Pop and was instantly at every corner in the shop looking for exactly what kind of anime and posters he might want. It made me smirk knowing just how insane he would go and how the poor Kazekage would probably allow me to do whatever it is I wish because of the things I want to buy him. In a matter of seconds I had a cart full of crap he'd like.

"Hey Sakura!" Tenten grinned from the counter making my eyes widen in astonishment. She's probably one of the last girls I'd imagine working here. It's not like she's into this stuff… or at least that's what I thought. I walked over to her slowly and placed the things on the counter while she played with her kunai.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked her blankly. She smirked softly and began to check all the things out while taking out wrapping paper. I smirked and motioned for her to 'go ahead' knowing that I sure as hell can't wrap presents. In a matter of seconds she had it wrapped up and ready to go.

"I work here! I'm a major anime Otaku! I can't get enough of the stuff! It's incredibly addictive!" She smirked and then handed me the presents while I gave her three hundred dollars and told her to keep the change. "You wouldn't believe the crap I'd go through just to watch a good anime! I didn't know you were such a big fan though." She said looking at the things I bought with a slightly curious look on her face.

"These are actually for Gaara." I said and began to inch away from her feeling a little creeped out. The girl just laughed at me and began to laugh harder and harder until she stopped breathing and I began to wonder if I need to call 911… but what's the number for it again? I always forget… dammit. If she dies because I forgot something so small-!

Instantly my friend began to breathe again and held onto me tightly. I looked down at her then shoved the girl to the side and began to walk out of the store. "Thanks a ton! It was great talking to you! Make sure not to mention this to Gaara! Alright bye!" I called with a big grin on my face but once I was out of the store I frowned and ran a hand through my hair. "That was just weird."

It didn't take me long to get home and took even less time for me to go to my torture chamber and hide the presents in my torture equipment box. Even if I forget where I put it I still go into this box every three hours.

**Gaara Pov**

I decided to be a good husband, even though my instincts were begging me to be a wife beater or something. Maybe even cheat on the poor woman because of how insanely ridiculous this really is. I shouldn't just buy her this and act like it's just another Christmas present! That's just horrible! I should be thinking about the poor people who will be forced to wear these with looks of shame, humiliation, and fear covering their faces!

At that moment I realized that I was probably doing the wrong thing, but non-the-less I bought her the handcuffs and even smiled at the creepy man with long black hair and snake eyes who checked it out for me. I should just be happy I didn't buy the fuzzy cuffs because that would suggest something completely different that I don't even want to consider when it comes to Sakura.

Taking a deep breath I also bought the complimentary red lipstick that I know Sakura loves to death. I might as well be the best husband in the world before being arrested for letting the _thing_ that is my wife, loose on the population of both Suna and Konoha. Dammit, I really should be arrested.

When I was out of the store, the hot sun of Suna beat down on my skin helping to strengthen the feelings of guilt, horror, and perhaps a bit of shame. I really shouldn't care this much but it's hard not to. Although everyone, including myself, should just be grateful that I didn't buy her a gun. That would end in mass chaos, confusion, and death.

When I got to the house I hid my present in the cupboard knowing that she'd never look there or even o through it for any reason knowing she can just order me to cook her food while waiting impatiently in our bedroom. In a lot of ways I hate my life with her but at the same time I love the excitement about it. She's always doing things that makes my ordinary life less ordinary and more fun.

I guess I'm a bit grateful to her… even if she drives me nuts and kidnaps people for fun.

I can still remember how scared I was when we first lived together at her place. That was just horrible! There was blood on the curtains and I was stuck living in the cellar or was it the attic? I don't even remember. All I know is that I never want to go back to that and I like our life now… it's a bit more normal with a bit of romance and fun here and there. Can't forget the constant kidnappings but we can handle it.

A light smirk passed over my lips as I remembered how I came to the rescue for her. Yes… for one moment in my life I got to be the hero and save my wife.

I just wish I didn't have to learn about my stupid brother in the process.


	10. THE END

**This is definitely not my best work, this fanfic series in general. But this is the end and I hope the ending has made up for it somewhat. I am back and will be updating my fanfics at my own time since I've become absorbed with so much and am in charge of so much… but it will get done, I promise.**

**Sakura**

The world ended on a Tuesday which is all good and well really. I was just kind of hoping for something a bit more dramatic like a Friday or a Sunday but nope… it just had to be a Tuesday. Frowning deeply I glanced around the room with a yawn and saw to my shock and utter delight that there was a letter on my chest with my fanclub's seal on it. Gaara got pissed when he found out that my club has a seal and everything while his is still trying to think of a proper name. They didn't want to be as point blank like my group so it's been taking them _ages_.

Opening the letter I then frowned.

_Dear Lovely Sakura,_

_We can see that it is pointless to pursue you any longer thanks to the fact that you are happily married to the bastard with the red hair. I'm sorry for all the times we have done drastic things for the attention of our one true love and I hope that you can find it in your beautiful heart to forgive us. _

_The headquarters was shut down this morning and everyone has been told to go home and live their lives without you in it. We hope that you will remain happy with Gaara but just as a quick reminder, you can always come back to us. We will always accept you into our lives if you believe you need a fling on the side or something. Even something serious is fine! In fact that'd be amazing! We could probably even hold a group meeting or something to talk about the spectacular moment! But…. Um… anyway, I hope you do well in this harsh cold world and remember us with your lovely mind and sugarcoat our time together._

_Thank you for everything,_

_Including the time you forgot to pull down the blinds when you changed in the living room._

_Forever yours,_

_The Sakura Fanclub_

I blinked hard and then laughed loudly at the letter before showing it to the now wide awake Gaara beside me. He glanced over it then scowled deeply as though it were a personal offense that he will not take lightly, but he should be glad. It's all over! Neither of us will be kidnapped all the time and we won't have to do much kidnapping, or at least not as much as before! It's amazing and I'm glad that they decided to give up on me! My grin faded slowly as I clutched my chest and frowned.

"I feel a little empty for some reason." I murmured and then leaned against Gaara's shoulder.

"Did you see the back?" Gaara grinned, not seeming to notice the sudden fall in my mood. I just shook my head so he showed me the paper.

_P.S. Shino has moved out of your house and is allowing you to live kid-free from now on until you decide to grace the world with miniature yous._

**Gaara**

I blinked hard and then moved away as I noticed the heat and rage rolling off of Sakura. She should be happy that the little prick is leaving us and that this group that admires her so much is ditching as well. All they ever do is cause us problems and leaves us in a mess that takes forever to deal with. She really should be much more excited about this than she is… and its making me wonder if she just wants to end this… is that fanclub and Shino more important than our relationship and happiness together? I can't handle all the drama and all the kidnapping. I'd prefer it to be just us having a few laughs and watching anime together. That's what makes me love this relationship so much, well other than the fact that I'm in love. We just know each other. But if she wants them more than me than I can leave.

"They're leaving and things are going to be easier aren't they?" Sakura asked softly with tears building up in her eyes. I stared at her in confusion but she just frowned and hugged me tightly to her, letting me feel the tears that were gathering along my shirt. I stared into her pretty green eyes when she looked up and saw loneliness there. Why am I not good enough? I always have to fight just to be this close to her, and now it seems like she doesn't want me anyway. Scowling I looked away.

"Yeah they're gone and I'm so fucking sorry about that." I spat and got up to take a shower and get ready for the day. Before I could go she stopped me, grabbing hold of my wrist as she looked down, only wearing one of my large red t-shirts and her underwear. I frowned and tried to ignore my arousal as I waited for her to say something. That's when she looked up allowing the tears to fall freely.

"I'm going to be too boring for you aren't I?" She asked with a choked sob. I blinked hard and then watched as she collapsed against me, hugging me tightly to her. I smiled softly and held her tighter. This is all she's ever known isn't it? Sure Shino just showed up recently but it made sense with how crazy her world is. I received a similar notice about my own club last night but I didn't get to mention it before she had fallen asleep. This is what makes Sakura entertained and it keeps her happy. I wonder if she needed them as much as they need her.

"You could never be boring, and especially not too boring for me. I can assure you." I smiled softly and watched her look up with a seductive look on her face.

"Then why don't you do it. Come on Gaara, assure me." She whispered and slid her hands under my shirt to trace my chest. I grinned.

**Sakura**

After our shower I found myself sitting in the kitchen admiring the expensive house, Gaara paid a lot of money to get my dream house made and had to avoid a lot of questions and lie in order to get the dungeon made as well. Since I live here not many people wanted to know the answers as to why I would want such a thing built and why it would need to be so large with separate rooms made of different kinds of stones and bricks. But we got through it and the dungeon was made just for me.

Gaara is always so patient with me and makes sure all my desires are fulfilled even if they're ridiculous. Of course he doesn't necessarily encourage my more erratic and crazy tendencies but he doesn't leave me for them either. I think this is going to last. Taking a sip of Hot Chocolate I just made for the fun of it I frowned softly and glanced out the large windows beside me. No one is hovering around trying to get a glimpse of me. No one wants me anymore. I'm officially out of bounds. No one can have me so no one wants me. It's sad. I've never been out of bounds, even with all of my little flings.

But I'm not alone. Gaara still wants me. He still stands by me and seems to care even when I do something stupid and dramatic out of embarrassment or anger. He's the guy I've always wanted and the one I'll always have. If this makes him happy then I won't pursue them. I'll just be a good little wife.

Walking into the kitchen I made myself a bowl of Captain Crunch and a glass of chocolate milk to go with the hot chocolate and then continued to enjoy my morning while Gaara rushed to get ready. My red silk bathrobe clung to my body in odd forms but still showed off my body well. Of course Gaara just got some but if I want another round before he goes to work I can easily convince him.

Tears filled my eyes but I blinked them back. I'm going to be happy from now on and nothing is going to change that. From now on I'm going to live my life with my amazing man and be a good little wife. Gaara entered the room then looking distracted so I just gave him a warm smile.

"I love you so much… and I always will." I informed him causing his eyes to widen before he smiled back and walked up to me.

**Gaara**

It's just like Sakura to have two chocolate drinks while eating some sort of cereal but what's unlike her is to be confessing something as important as this. Very rarely do we talk about how much we love each other but today is a good day to do it. Getting down on my knees I looked her over and then smiled wider making sure that all the emotions I have towards her showed in my eyes. "I love you more than you know and I'll never stop." I replied and kissed her softly, enjoying the feeling of her with me. Usually she's so strong and so independent but right now she's relying on me and holding onto me. It makes me think that this morning affected her a lot… but in a good way. If we move on from this now then it won't affect us later one. We'll be free.

"My fanclub disbanded as well. My brother seems to doubt the morality of the group and their way about doing things so he ended it and is making sure it doesn't reform. Kankuro can be a real jackass but he knows that we're not going to separate anytime soon." I smiled and kissed her forehead before standing up and turning to leave. She hugged me tightly from behind but then let go and walked me to the door. Every step she took looked so sure and dignified, even with her fuzzy skeleton slippers and bathrobe.

Sakura just has this way of making sure that everyone around her sees her the way she wants them to and I guess that's just as well since it makes me happy to know that such a manipulator is my wife. She can handle herself and that makes this amazing, I was sure I'd be stuck saving some damsel in distress but I'm not good at that… as Sakura has constantly shown me. She's the hero and I'm just a leader. She's destined to walk out into the sunset and I'm meant to make sure that the sun is at just the right angle and that the horse doesn't crap on the ground as it leads her out of here. But either way… I like this.

I like _us_. _Us_ is a very good thing after all. It makes me want to make sure we last longer and be together forever. The first step was this. Get rid of the past and get rid of the fanclub and make sure that we're living alone and being with each other. I think today was the first time we've had sex since we got married… but that's entirely Shino's fault. Now he's gone and we can be a real married couple. Not a Mary Sue or anything stupid like that. No, we're going to be real.

Walking out the door with my briefcase in hand I turned and smiled at her as she just leaned against the doorway and smiled back.

This is our life.


End file.
